Carol A. Boyer, MA, LPC, NCC
Sex is a natural human need. It’s also a very sensitive topic!
Many of us were raised with feelings of guilt and shame around the issue of sexuality. Even today, sex remains off-limits as a topic for discussion in many families.
The reasons for this vary. Some parents feel they aren’t knowledgeable enough to speak to their children about sexual matters. Others are too embarrassed to even broach the subject, or they’re afraid that if they do bring it up, it will only encourage their children to have sex sooner, so any discussions that do get started often end with, “Just wait until you’re married.”
But most of us don’t wait. Most of us start having sex in our teens or twenties. However, just because we’re having sex doesn’t mean we’ve learned how to talk about it. In fact, whether we’ve "saved ourselves for marriage" or not, by the time most of us do get married, we still have no idea how to talk about sex in an open, loving, honest way.
No wonder then, that many of us have difficulty talking about sex – even with our partners – which makes addressing sexual issues nearly impossible!
If you feel too embarrassed or ashamed to ask for what you want (or don’t want) sexually, your chances of getting your needs met are pretty slim, indeed! And while sex isn’t “everything" in a relationship, it is an important form of loving expression between partners, and deserves as much attention as any other intimate communication.
If you and your partner(s) have trouble talking about sex, counseling can help you develop the necessary trust and confidence to discuss your intimate issues in an open, loving way, so that you can enjoy the sexual fulfillment you deserve.
50 Church Street, Suite L3, Montclair, NJ 07042